Do you want to be right or happy?

How many of us have resisted making a request, or not made a request, because we have this internal conversation “I shouldn’t have to ask you that”? We observe something we like to change but we don’t make the request because we think the other person should already know or the other person should just act differently out of “common sense” or something like that. This comes up in the workplace and personal situations. Sounds familiar?

This is a great example of a key choice we all have: do we want to be right or do we want to be happy? That is, we can be so right about how we shouldn’t have to ask the other person to adjust his or her behavior and because of our “rightness” we refuse to make a request. We usually end up simmering in silent resentment, continue to find evidence how right we are and how wrong the other person is. And we still don’t get the results we want. OR we can make an effective request, produce the results we want and achieve some degree of satisfaction, productivity and peace. 

Perhaps next time, when you feel resentful because someone hasn’t met your expectations, try making a request instead. Make sure you define clearly what you expect, also in terms of time frame (a.s.a.p. is really very vague ;-) and conditions of satisfaction.
See what happens?