To hold a man down you need to stay down with him


Today I was reminded of a quote of Booker T. Washington, an American educator, orator and adviser to multiple presidents. He was born into slavery and became the leading voice of the former slaves and their descendants.

One pearl of wisdom that he shared with the world was “to hold a man down, you need to stay down with him”. Which ties in nicely with my previous blog on revenge. Often, when we feel a certain person wronged us, and we are not addressing what is really going on for us, we allow ourselves to feel resentful. And this emotion, or any other emotion for that matter, only allows us to accept, believe and surrender to the thoughts that equal this emotion of resentment. The result is that we start to hold on to our resentment, our grudges, consistently telling ourselves how this person wronged us. And that’s where we start to pay the price. As the person involved might not have a clue that we are suffering. So, the only one who ends up suffering in the end is us. Our bodies, our mindset, our inner peace, our sense of wellbeing is blown to smithereens by us living our resentment. What a waste of time and energy! And lack of self-care!

Looking at Booker T. Washington’s quote the way out is to disengage with this person that wronged you. Not as in walking away and pretending to let go. That wouldn’t really work as you might end up feeling even more resentful. As the real issue hasn’t been addressed once again. No, the way out means starting to realize what hanging on to resentment, being down with the person who wronged you, is costing YOU. In terms of wellbeing and all the good things you want for yourself. Looking at your condescending internal conversations about that person, and then asking yourself “if I don’t go “condescending” what would I need to feel instead?” And, then speak to that…!